Bowling Green’s Elf Missing?

In Bowling Green, Kentucky, a few residents have reported that an elf is seen wandering around on Christmas Eve. Rumor has it this elf is somewhere in China teaching college students about the English language and bluegrass music.

This picture was taken of the Bowling Elf sometime in late 2013 at his home base. Based on the evidence at hand, he must disguise himself as an ordinary handyman.

This elf once claimed there are other elves like him in the world, monitoring children and telling Santa who’s been nice or naughty. While his claims go unverified, it’s believed these elves may disguise themselves as humans thanks to their freakish height (you know, for elves) and are usually somewhat cranky as to hide their North Pole sanctioned surveillance…err, uh…observation activities. Yes. That’s right. Observation activities.

Sources claim the Bowling Green Elf will return to his original post in July of 2016, just in time for his bi-annual report to Santa. “Just because I’m away doesn’t mean I’m slacking off,” says the Bowling Green Elf. He says he looks forward to coming home and helping Santa build next year’s list.